My first born Son is crossing from childhood to adulthood, he’s in that in-between, confusing, neither one thing or another place. It’s not a still place, it’s a passageway, constantly moving and changing. It can be traumatic, surprising, fun, scary and bewildering. He’s dealing with it in is own beautiful way, with humour and humility (long may that continue!).
I have had to reassure him it’s ok to be both right now, it’s ok to be a child sometimes and adult at other times. It’s fine and normal to play with toys one minute and join in adult conversations the next. I have told him it’s natural to want to regress at times to a simpler, easier time when you knew who, what and where you are. It’s ok to go back there to relax and rejuvenate ready for the next step. Then you will move forward again, learn something new, discover a change in yourself, want and need new things. You’ll need to take time to discover each new self as you grow, experiment with it carefully, take your time to get to know yourself and greet each new part of your self as a friend.
As I pass on this advice I realise we are all making small crossings; transforming into new selves, all the time. Reflecting on my own life I have become at various times a sister, a best friend, a student, one half of a partnership, a grown, independent young woman, a wife, a mother, a teacher, a holistic therapist, an artist and all sorts of other things that don’t have names. Along the way I have made so many discoveries about myself, other people, the world, spirituality and so much more. As I internalise each new thing I learn I change a little to incorporate it, absorb it into my very self. This brings about constant change, many crossings from one state of mind/being/belief to another, this growing and learning thing never stops, and nor should it. Life is so rich and beautiful, the more of it I can take in the better. When it stops and I make my final crossing I’d like to be able to think I absorbed as many moments, lessons and blessings as I could, these are the only things I’ll take with me.
May your many crossings be smooth and calm, with just enough excitement and adventure and many of them made in the company of good friends in sunshine and laughter.